Over 15 years ago I was standing in the Barajas, Madrid Airport.
{ WOW! That’s a long time! }
I was just 22 years old with a suitcase in my hand and a pounding heart.
There with me were two amazing men that had inspired me in many ways… true friends that I knew wanted the best for me.
I remember clearly standing in the line of people that were waiting excitingly to go through customs, thinking if the decision to come to the United States was a clever one.
I looked back many times to the faces of those two friends searching in their eyes for what I should do.
I was terrified, I felt in the middle of a multitude absolutely alone.
…The line went a lot faster than what I had anticipated. Before I knew, it was my turn to empty my pockets, to give the uniformed stranger my passport and the airplane ticket.
He mumbled directions, as a robot would have done, as though he was talking to a number instead of to a human being that was scared to death.
I was on the other side of the line and it felt to me like I was standing at the point of no return.
I felt clearly in that second that my life was never going to be the same if I got in that plane.
I had so many questions in my mind, so many doubts and fears but heavier than all of them was the certainty that I didn’t want to live with “What would have happened if…”
As scary as it was to leave my beautiful Madrid behind, the people I loved, the streets I knew so well, for me it was even more terrifying to stay in that dangerous place called “What if?”
I am not talking about the “what if” that makes us strive for better moments…
I am not talking about the “what if” that inspired ordinary man to go to the moon.
I live for those “what ifs”.
I am talking about the empty “what ifs”:
..What if I had gone to college?
…What if I would have had the courage to say no?
…What if I would have said I am sorry?
You know!
Those “what ifs” that don’t take us anywhere but to the past that we cannot change.
I knew in that moment, in that airport, just a few seconds away from my journey
that no matter what, “what if I would have…” was not going to be a part of my life.
I have unfortunately known so many people that don’t live TODAY fully because they are stuck in one of those “what ifs”.
It breaks my heart!
SO many of us believe that it is too late.
That somehow our chance to do, to be, to fly, to create, to become has simply passed.
Let me tell you something.
Right before I gave that officer my passport I looked back to the eyes of my good friend Sammy.
He doubled my age, he was wise and I knew he loved me as a father would love a daughter.
I knew he could see my fear.
With a smile and an infinite strength in his eyes he looked at me from the distance and softly said…
“Follow Your Heart”
No one has ever given me better advice that what that man gave me that day.
Because I decided to follow it I have discovered that for me the most beautiful thing about this life is not just to live it,
but to live it well.
In other words I never question my heart.
If I love you… I tell you and I show you.
If I make a mistake { and trust me I make many}, I learn from it, I cry, I stand up again, I ask for forgiveness believing that I can do better tomorrow.
If I intend to go to Spain but for some reason I end in Italy… I am going to forget the “paella” and instead I am going to learn Italian.
I am going to get lost in their beautiful culture and I am going to eat “gelato” until I can’t eat anymore.
If I decide to go to the beach and right after I arrive it starts to rain,
if I gave my trust to someone that didn’t deserve it,
if I didn’t have the courage yesterday of doing, saying, or living…
TODAY, I am not going to waste even a second in an empty and stupid “what if”.
Heck no!
I am actually going to do the opposite!
I am going to stand up and dance under the rain while the waves crash in the shore, and the clean breeze awakens my ideas.
Today I am going to value more than ever those that love me and support me day by day.
TODAY I am going to do anything in my power to wake up tomorrow with no regrets.
TODAY I am going to try to be my best me, to give the most of me, because at the end of our lives I really think that the “what ifs” don’t matter.
However the moments we share,
the lessons we have learned,
the simple actions that come from following our hearts
is what makes each second of this life worth living.
You know what?
The best thing I have ever done was to make the decision of getting in that plane.
Because of it among so many blessing I get to be my husband’s girlfriend and share with him our four treasures.
So cheers for tomorow and double cheers for today!
No empty “what ifs”!
♥
Happy Wednesday!
Desirée
I hope you can back this evening at 6:30pm to
Show Me EXTRAORDINARY at the Link PARTY!
Desiree, That’s why I love you, you speak from the heart. Never stop being you! You are a TRUE freind for so many reason. I’m so glad you got on that plane! Besos, Wanda Ann
I love you right back…
What a fantastic post! Full of inspiration… thank you for taking the time to put your experience into words and share it! xoxo
sending you hugs…
Beautiful post! I felt exactly the same two years ago when I left England for Canada! I was scared…so so sad to leave my family…I think for the first year to 18 months there were days when I just sobbed because I missed them…I still have those days but not as often. BUT I know for sure I would not have been happy had I stayed with all those negative “what if’s”!
Hey Desiree, I’m such a huge fan of your site. I found you when you started contributing for TT&J, but I’m stopping by from the SNAP page. I’m so happy to see you’re another one of the blogging pals that are heading to SNAP here in a few weeks. It’s so exciting to see so many talented women going and I hope I get the chance to meet you and say hello while we’re there. Happy and safe travels!