I always try to share with you my best projects, pictures, recipes, and tutorials but today I’m sharing with you some of my mistakes and the things I have learned from them. This is what I call a post from my heart to yours!
1
I? Who is that?
Motherhood is without a doubt the most rewarding and wonderful blessing I have received in my life. Also, wouldn’t you agree that at times it is the most exhausting marathon you and I will ever run?
TRY TO READ THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IN ONE BREATH:
Years ago I realized that somewhere between breastfeeding bottles diapers preschool school after school activities looking for shoes loads of laundry dinner washing dishes sticky kisses parent-teacher conferences doctor visits going to the park potty training {God bless us all for this one!} cleaning throw up piano rehearsals and much more I forgot one tiny thing: I forgot to put commas between it all.
{ YOU CAN BREATH NOW}
That’s right, between all that I forgot to take a break, and I forgot myself.
Because of it one morning I woke up and I saw in the mirror the reflection of the saddest version of myself. As Lena Horne said, “It wasn’t the load that was breaking me down {I loved being a mama}; it was the way I was carrying it.” I determined that day that my family deserved better than the person that I had become so I made an effort to simplify and make time for myself, read a book, go on dates with my husband, play more often as a family and especially reconnect with my Father in Heaven. Little by little something magical happened, I discovered a better version of myself, and I couldn’t wait to share ALL OF ME with those that I love the most.
2
Fighting Against Them
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Years ago I was talking with a man that I admire deeply, and I asked him what advice he could give me as a young mother. He thought about it for a minute and then he said something that I will never forget:
“Pick your battles.”
Before his words, I had designed in my mind a perfect blueprint of how my kids were going to turn out. I knew what was best, right? The truth is that I didn’t want to pick my battles. I was the mom; I wanted to win them all! Soon enough I realized that kids have a mind of their own – No kidding! When children and especially teens are not willing to follow what parents expect, the home can become a war zone. In those moments it is easy to use words and hurtful comments as lethal weapons. I’ve learned that instead of fighting against each other it’s best to fight for each other.
3
COMPARING
We all know that we should never compare one child to another. They are unique and beautiful in their own way. As moms, we protect their individuality and try to build their self-esteem. We try our best to raise confident children as we focus on their gifts and wonderful characteristics instead of their flaws and imperfections.
Now, when it comes to ourselves we tend to be more critical, don’t we? We tend to compare ourselves to other women. We tend to forget the same lesson that we want our children to learn.
As we compare ourselves, our imperfections seem to be too many and too heavy, and instead of being inspired by other women we start sinking in an ocean of inadequacy. Oh, my friends, this behavior is not just a mistake; it is ridiculous.
There is only one YOU, there is only one me, and that makes each of us a living miracle. We are not perfect but we are loved perfectly by a Father above, and if you think about it that makes each of us pretty darn special.
4
EATING OUR KID’S LEFTOVERS
Seriously, we have to stop this madness!
I have over 30 pounds of this nonsense around my midsection!
Did you hear me, sister?
30 pounds!
The crazy thing is that it isn’t just the food on our kid’s plates that we go ahead and eat. We moms often have the habit of making the massive mistake of taking over the many other leftovers that our adorable children leave behind. After a while, we may feel like we are carrying around 30 extra pounds of responsibility not just around our waists but in our brains and shoulders.
It took me some time to let my kids take responsibility for the things they start and allow them to finish a task without me intervening. Experience has taught me that it is not for us to finish our kid’s leftovers but instead to decide how much they can have on their plates!
5
Missing The Moment
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I think sometimes life is like a cul-de-sac where four neighbors live. Their names are SOMEDAY, LATER, TOMORROW and NEVER. These four are great at making you believe they are the best neighbors you could ever have. The truth is that they are always there for you. We can always count on them. It took me a while to realize however that our family was in desperate need of a new neighbor, this is when TODAY moved in.
I remember before having children, the long list of dreams and things that I couldn’t wait to do with my kiddos SOMEDAY. Then I remember holding one and each of them in my arms for the very first time dreaming of the things that TOMORROW would bring. TOMORROW came visiting every day with new diapers to change, with the achievement of new milestones, with a bunch of chores, and the old list of dreams that we’d fulfill LATER.
The thing about LATER is that it NEVER comes. It is always late. LATER always finds an excuse for not showing up.
I was sick and tired of waiting for LATER when I decided to hang out with a new friend, TODAY. Since then, every single day is a precious gift because it is not about the things we do, but the way we do them.
Even now, sometimes my good old neighbors knock on my door but I’m quick to kick them out. TODAY I enjoy the sticky kisses, the warm hugs, the joy that comes with talking around the table while eating together a meal. TODAY is full of surprises, of new moments, of new experiences. TODAY is my chance to breathe, to love, to celebrate life.
TODAY is full of hope! Let’s not make the mistake of missing TODAY while waiting for TOMORROW.
CONCLUSION
I will end this post in the same way I started. Motherhood is without a doubt the most rewarding and wonderful blessing I have received in my life. Also, it is the most exhausting marathon I will ever run, and I wouldn’t change it for the world!
Sincerely,
Desi
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This post was exactly what I needed today. Your words are encouraging and precious to me today!
Thank you so much!
Awww, you are so sweet. Thank you for stopping by!
I totally agree with you And thanks for the excellent reading! !!
Thank you so much for sharing, definately needed to hear this today!! I have a 4 year old and a 2 1/2 year old and I’m a stay at home mom…. And I have been struggling lately.
As a teacher this post helps me so much… We spend so much time with your children that we could well say we are the second mommy! And yes, we do make some of these mistakes too… So I’m pinning it to remember!
Thanks a million! I love it! ❤❤❤
We love teachers around here. I am personally so thankful for the hard work you guys put into helping children grow and learn. Thank you so much for visiting with me today!
Beautifully written as always Desi. I love the way that you put everything into perspective and as a mother of two young girls I definitely need to heed to your advice with picking my battles and my neighbors. Thank you for this. I am so proud to call you a friend!
So well said – I love you my friend!!! We have to stick together & support one another. Be the rock to let our friends know they are not alone in this daily grind. It really helps to keep it all in perspective because these really are the best days of our lives. These short years with our precious children.
I so agree with you Gina.Thank you so much for always being there. I love you to pieces!
Excellent advice! Thanks for sharing! Pinned!
Thank you. Thank you for putting down in words what so many of us need to hear. It is for grand “moms” too. My 24 year old (very young!) granddaughter that I am so sad to say I barely know, has just come to live with me. These reminders helped me tremendously today. I will save them and re-read them often. thanks so much! tt
Terry, thank you for taking the time to leave me such a sweet comment. Have a wonderful day!
Some sound words of advice here, I could relate to so many, especially “the days are long but the years are short”. Thanks for the reminder to embrace today.
Thank you so much for stopping by!
Desiree
What an insightful article! It took me on a journey of my past from 4 years ago to this day. All these are things that I have sensed but went on with anyway. Lets hope we remember these words always. Most of your lines can be printed and framed! Thank you very much for putting this together.
God Bless!
Swetha
Thank you so much for visiting with me today and take the time to say hi.