The last time I was “home” for Christmas was 15 years ago.

Can you believe it?

During the month of December it is impossible for me not to think everyday about my

family members that live on the other side of the Atlantic.

Perhaps because they are all so far away my own family is so important to me.

 

As I was decorating my home for the Holidays my heart melted as I put together my favorite tree.

On this tree are a bunch of gold ornaments and shining white lights but

my favorite items are these frames that hold the pictures of loved ones that are not here anymore.

It makes sense that we refer to this tree as the Memory Tree.

Among the pictures in those frames is this one of my father.

 

I can’t believe I’m going to share this with you but for some reason I feel I should.

Around this time three years ago I was in bed late at night not able to go to sleep, so I decided to read.

When I turned on the light on my nightstand I saw my journal.

Without a second thought  I opened it.

Then, the strangest thing happened, the memory of my father came to me.

This was bizarre since during my entire life, that I remember,  I had seen my father perhaps only five times.

Without thinking about it I started writing this man that I barely knew a letter.

The first sentence struck me as I printed on the paper,

Querido Papa”,

{ Dear Papa }

 

For most of us those words come natural, in my case I had never called anyone papa in my life.

However that night they came out freely, the name papa came from my heart.

Soon I realized I wasn’t writing to the man that  barely knew, 

I was writing to the man that my heart ached to know.

I felt strongly  I should tell him that I was OK…

That life had been good to me, that he should never worry about the things he did or didn’t do.

I told him him how much I missed the memories we had never made

and how much I looked forward to start making them.

 

Just like that  the tiredness of a long day all of a sudden hit me.

I fell asleep that night with a fervent and sweet desire to get to know my father, my papa, my dad better,

and at the same time with the feeling that I belonged to him.

It was like an early Christmas gift from heaven.

 

I felt so close being so far away.

Like my dad was thinking about me that night as much as I was thinking about him.

I went to sleep with the determination of finishing the letter later and starting a relationship that

should have begun  over 30 years earlier.

However in the morning life went on and I never finished that letter.

If I tell you the truth I never thought about it again until almost two months later.

 

{ Beautiful Free Printable by 517 Creations }

 

I was cleaning my kitchen like any other day when the phone rang and the familiar voice of my mama

told me that my father had come down extremely ill unexpectedly.

Overnight his condition took a turn for the worse and unfortunately in less than a week he was gone.

I can’t recall a time that I had cried the way I did when I learned my father had passed away.

As tears filled my eyes the memory of the letter that I never finished,

the unsaid words, the fervent sweet desire to know him better all hit me at once.

And there, over 7,000 miles away, so far but so close again to this being that I belong to,

the words came out of my lips:

“I love you papa”

 

I said it, I said the words at loud.

I said them time after time, I said them for all of those years that I didn’t,

I said them until I felt he knew it.

I said them until I felt he was saying it back.

 

Since that experience I determined that I would never wait again.

That I would never let the everyday life take the place of the things that really matter.

That day I determined to stop on the journey to look into someone’s eyes a little deeper,

to hold my children a little longer, to say I love you with true intention.

That day I determined to never again have “unfinished letters”,

or miss memories that I had never made.

 

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image source

 

As I get older more I realize how precious this life is.

I have learned that as we forgive, as we forget, as we are forgiven,

our silent fervent desires are heard and nothing is impossible or too far again.

I am grateful for this Season when we specially remember and celebrate the birth of our Savior.

A season when we are reminded  that we all can and should  finish those unfinished letters,

that we can say those unspoken words, build and even rebuild  relationships

and make those special memories that will belong to each of us forever.

 

Thank you for stopping by today my friends.

Wishing you all a beautiful Sunday.

Desirée

 

Desiree
Hi there! After years of working in interior design, I fueled my passion for DIY into my own little corner dedicated to creativity. I am grateful that blogging has given me the opportunity to do what I love and share my passion for transforming, creating and reinventing with our readers.
Desiree
Desiree
Desiree

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11 Responses to The Christmas Tree

  1. Grey says:

    A very special post–Thank you

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