This year my Saydi will be turning 12!

 

 

I wonder where did time go?

I wonder how the girl playing with my mascara actually wants to wear it for real?

How are her feet bigger than mine?

How do I just have one year before the four letter word “teen” follows the numbers of her next 7 birthdays?

How?

When?

WOW!

( Me and my mom many years ago )

 

I wonder if my mama felt and had these same questions.

 

Inspired by all these thoughts I am writing late at night 12 things to tell our daughters before 13,

and perhaps reminders for ourselves for the rest of our lives. 

 

1

I love YOU.

When we mean it this has to be the most powerful sentence in the world.

YOU is perhaps the key of it.

Every girl deserves to be loved.

baby deals

 

picture source

 

EVERY SINGLE GIRL should know that her parents cherish her.

The shy girl, the funny girl, the straight A girl and the B- girl, the special needs girl,

the curvy girl, the skinny one, the short one the tall one.

That girl, the one that belongs to you, to me,  deserves to hear and feel the words,

I love YOU as  YOU are!

 

2

The size of your pants will never

determined the size of your heart.

beauty

picture source

 

We live in a time where images are everything. We have the power to alter any picture in a second.

” Making the good look bad and the bad look good. “

More than ever I think we need to teach our girls that the size of our hearts

 will always be far more important that the size of their pants.

More than ever I believe we should use adjectives as strong, smart, wise, powerful, beautiful, kind

instead of skinny, cute, perfect, big, small, to build their character.

 

3

You were born with your own dignity therefore

no one can take it away from you.

This is something my mama told me from a very young age.

I remember one time someone in my island made up a huge terrible lie about me.

It was a hard time, I felt ridiculed, betrayed and sad.

These words of my mom came into my mind.

No one could take away from me my dignity.

 It belonged to me.

 I owned it.

 I had the right to defend it and I did.

My life was affected by the outcome of these simple words greatly.

Every girl deserves to grow with such confidence.

 

4

Keep your panties on at all times.

This was my brothers advice!

I wonder if he even remember when he told me this,

but I am telling you I have never forgotten.

 

5

Don’t do DRUGS.

They will…

D: destroy you.

R: ruin your youth and maybe your life.

U: unhappiness will be around you.

G:grief and S: sorrow will follow them.

 

When I was 15 my mama took me to a rehabilitation center full of good people suffering from serious addiction to drugs.

For about 6 weeks we went to help these people to get better.

Some of them were really young, some terribly ill, other ones were terribly sad,

some were ashamed, alone and lost.

This was a wake up moment for me.

My mother didn’t have to tell me not to take drugs,

she taught a far better lesson taking me and showing me the consequences of it.

When the time came and drugs were offered to me I knew what to say: NO

 

6

Remember who you are.

I tell this to my children often.

Kids don’t need to know who they are yet,

they are evolving, reinventing and getting to know themselves everyday.

I believe they just need to remember the value of their souls.

Children can even remind us who we are.

My kids are my heroes. I wish I could love as unconditionally as they love.

I wish I could forgive as they do it.

I wish I could be as willing to learn as they are.

The best way to remember anything is repetition.

We need to tell our daughters often how amazing they are.

We must repeat it time after time.

We need to recognize their talents and spend our lives trying to build them up.

I promise you they will remember who they are if their parents and loved ones tell them often.

 

6

As your parent I will say no,

 because I know you can say yes to wonderful things.

say yespicture source

 

Yes to your dreams.

Yes to an education.

Yes to experiences that will make your heart full.

Yes to a future.

NO is all about YES!

 

7

I know you hate our rules

but our rules love you.

Would you ever ask a policemen if you could go 100 miles an hour in a school zone?

Would you ever ask a dentist to do a brain surgery?

Would you ever ask your mother in law to love you as much as she loves her son?

No?

Why?

Because we know the rules. Because we understand the consequences.

Because we want to be safe.

Because you know better than to mess with your mother in law.

 { I love mine }

We need to create for our daughters a set of a few clear fair rules that they will know that we won’t compromise.

In order for this to work we must explain that the reasons why we won’t compromise

 has nothing to do with pride or power but with love and safety.

Be CLEAR to the point.

 

8

I value your opinion.

Our daughters most of the time will know what is the right thing to do.

Instead of saying NO right away, I believe we should ask what do you think you should do?

This will teach them to make right decisions based on wise judgements instead of emotions.

I think it is important to listen to them, to value what they have to say,

and to share with them personal experiences that validate our point.

 

9

Friendship and popularity are not the same thing.

friends

 

picture source

I think this is a serious struggle for those sweet 12 years old girls.

They want to be accepted, they want to be liked.

It is our responsibility as parents to know our kids friends.

My mama was a wise woman.

My home was always open to my friends, she knew them well, she even took the time to get to know their parents.

She was ahead of the game and everyone loved her.

 

10

READ!

read

 

picture source

 

One of the most beautiful habits we can pass to our girls is the gift of reading.

There is a good chance that they will read if we read.

One of my personal traditions with my kids is that I read to them.

The books now are more intense than before, but when I don’t read they complain.

I really think they will remember this tradition forever.

 

11

Have fun!

My Familia

This is perhaps one of my favorite things.

Me and my husband have spent a good amount of time and energy trying to show our children with actions what fun is.

We are kids at heart, especially Matt can get wild as soon as he sees water, snow, sand, board games.

It is our calling to teach our girls all things even how to have a blast.

 

12

Yes, you can!

Shine On

print source

 

We should be the biggest fans our daughters would ever have.

We should encourage them to believe they can do anything.

The world will tell them they can’t quite often.

I hope we are the ones to say YOU CAN all the time!

 

I am not an expert when it comes to parenting.

I was just lucky enough to be a 12 year old girl that had a mother that loved her for who she was.

Thank you mama!

 

Happy Day My Friends!

Besos

Desirée

 

Desiree
Hi there! After years of working in interior design, I fueled my passion for DIY into my own little corner dedicated to creativity. I am grateful that blogging has given me the opportunity to do what I love and share my passion for transforming, creating and reinventing with our readers.
Desiree
Desiree
Desiree

Latest posts by Desiree (see all)

Delicious Chicken Pasta

...with spinach and artichoke!

Recipe HERE!


66 Responses to 12 Things to tell our daughters before 13

  1. DIANE MURRAY says:

    Desiree, I have a 12 year old granddaughter who has spent much of her life with me. She will be 13 in July. I am sending your words to her parents. Please tell your Mom I am impressed with what she passed on to you and how she did it. How blessed you are!

  2. Eren says:

    Thank you. I loved this!

  3. Joanie says:

    Throughout my entire life, from as early as I can remember, my father would always say to me, “You are beautiful on the outside AND, most importantly, on the inside.” As I child I would smile and laugh, and as I entered my early teens I would always roll my eyes– “Daaaaaad! I just want to know how my outfit looks!” But he never stopped answering that way.
    That answer has become part of who I am, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. When I have children some day, I hope I can instill a similar message in them.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Google+ Me!

Pin with Me!

Pinterest

Tweet Me

twitter website widget

Facebook Me!

The 36th Disclosure

© 2012 The 36th AVENUE 

The images and content of the36thavenue.com are protected by copyright laws. DO NOT distribute or copy the content without written permission. DO NOT edit or remove watermarks from any image. If you want to share an image feel free to pick just ONE IMAGE with a direct link to its original post. For questions contact us here. 

Sheknows Family Logo.jpg.jpg.jpg